Amanda, this is amazing! I am probably considerably older than you, to the point that when I was a teenager there was no internet (not for another 10–15 years). However, I still had these fantasies similar to yours and remember in the 1990s when I cam across sites like Fictionmania and Big Closet Top Shelf. The realization that my fantasies and needs had shifted/were shifting, came somewhat more slowly for me. I went from the closet, to weekend crossdressing, to transition with HRT in the course of about 3–4 years. I have now been fully out for about 7 1/2 years and couldn’t be happier.

Best to you!


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Educator, writer, LGBTQ+ advocate, avid reader. Novelist in progress. Website: Empowering the LGBTQ+ community one word at a time.

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