Amen to resisting an unhealthy culture! However, I don’t know that we can agree on much you are saying about gender, though (and that’s OK!). I believe gender is more than just stereotypes. As I mentioned, I can dress “like a man” (whatever that means) but I would still be a woman. I agree that the gender playing field is slanted, and it is a social construct, but yet it exists. As a woman, I, too, am playing up hill (in my mind, I am playing soccer, but feel free to insert whatever field sport you like, lol).
Also, referencing neurological research (as in the case of brain studies) or psychological/psychiatric/physiological consensus (as in the case of having an “innate sense;” we trans people call it dysphoria and it is all too real), is not the same as advancing an ideology, in my opinion. Even if the brain issue turns out to be a bust (the jury is still out: it seems like I hear contradictory reports every couple months), it is still just an attempt to explain a phenomena that already exists: transgender people. I can see where you may not like post modern or queer theory (and they are theories on which someone might build an ideology, but — to me — that doesn’t mean that gender doesn’t exist, that the reality of gender is not equitable, and that many of us are struggling uphill in much the same way. I appreciate your argument, as it made me think more clearly about my own thoughts, knowledge, and beliefs.