My attitude from the jump is that you were casually disrespectful of trans experiences and dressed up your transphobia as some kind of honest “beef: “ My only beef is a that if you were once a man and now a woman you haven’t experienced misogyny the way women have and probably still unknowingly contribute to misogyny. It’s like getting the best parts about being a woman without experiencing the worst.”

Telling you about the misogyny I’ve experienced isn’t the same as “transplaining,” as you called it. Pointing out that I, too, am a woman isn’t being aggressive or hostile. Saying that I somehow — still undefined — contribute to misogyny, using all caps while at the same time changing your tune (yes, you should have said cis, but you didn’t, and your context tells me you really didn’t mean to in the first place). I’m not the one who has been using all caps in my responses, either. No, I’m not the hostile one. So you tell a trans woman she is acting like “a man” (whatever that means) when you feel she is being hostile. You’ve been acting pretty hostile “from the jump” as shown above. I would send the M-word right back at you except that I do not believe in gender stereotypes. If I am coming off hostile (never my intent), then I am just another woman who happens to be angry. Just as I never took your hostility as being anything other than a woman who was angry as well.

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Educator, writer, LGBTQ+ advocate, avid reader. Novelist in progress. Website: Empowering the LGBTQ+ community one word at a time.

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