There is nothing “gross” about saying that cisgender people have privilege. It’s actually pretty straightforward. If someone is white, they have white privilege, regardless of gender, sex, or sexual orientation. If someone is straight they have heterosexual privilege regardless of gender, sex, race, etc. And if someone is cisgender they have cisgender privilege regardless of their gender, sex, race, etc.
In a majority of U.S. states transgender people can be fired, evicted, or thrown out of public places just for being transgender. Compounded with race, the situation is even more dire. The life expectancy of a transgender woman of color is 35. I don’t think it’s the least bit gross to point out that cis people don’t have to worry about the things trans people have to. That is the definition of privilege. Maybe some cis people have other issues to deal with, but they still have cis privilege. The only way that wouldn’t be the case is if there were some great advantages to being transgender. There really aren’t. In fact, hopefully you understand that no one decides to be transgender. We are born this way. Given what you have said about being a female, can you think of a reason why someone would want to be one if given a choice? Thinking that transgender people have a choice to not be transgender, or to just ignore their dysphoria is a great example of cisgender privilege.
Your response doesn’t seem to take trans men and non-binary people into account. Do you deny they exist or just think they don’t receive discrimination as a result of being transgender? Or if you do accept that they exist and are discriminated against, how can you say that you don’t have privilege compared to them?
Also, I am not straight, either. I am a woman married to another woman. Both of us are anything but straight. My wife and I are currently on vacation. We checked into a hotel earlier today. The desk clerk gave us a funny look when she noticed there were two of us and one bed. If I ever had straight privilege, I don’t have it now. And since I have never been straight (I identified as bisexual before transition), I never really did have that privilege. Nor does my wife, who has identified as bisexual for the past 30 years.